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March/April 2001

Hello Survivor's!

My greeting sounds cheery because survivors are visiting this site and contributing through sharing their thoughts and feelings, and that brings a feeling of happiness to me. Why? Because it proves that we are all fighters, and that we are strong. I believe that if you have the strength to seek out information on the Internet, and then have the courage to reach out, you are taking great leaps towards healing. You should pat yourself on the back and continue to move forward in your journey. I myself have had to temporarily discontinue my therapy specifically for the trauma I experienced from the sexual abuse. I became overwhelmed with memories, flashbacks and triggers. I found it exhausting mentally, and emotionally. I was hospitalized and then treated for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). My doctors have explained that it takes an abundance of strength to deal with the memories and pain, and suggested that I undergo other types of therapy to strengthen myself before continuing with my journey. Although I am eager to move through this pain, and heal I understand now that it is a process. I am not working directly on my issues surrounding the abuse, but the other challenges that occur because of the abuse. Things like self-esteem, assertiveness, boundaries, etc.,

What I would like to share is that by working on the other challenges that I have it has enabled me to feel stronger, I know that I have a long way to go but I can tell you I have a lot more faith and belief that things will get better, that my life and how I see it will get better. I pray for us all that we are able to have the strength to regain what was stolen from us as children, as teens, as woman, as men, as the innocent, loving individuals that we are. If you have nothing else to hold on to, know that you have gotten yourself this far, and you can take yourself even further and deeper. Hold on, and have faith in the Higher Power that loves us all.

Warm Regards,

Melodie Downey, Editor/ Becoming Gold




>Thank you for visiting our website! When I say our website, I refer to all survivor's of childhood sexual abuse, who use this site as a resource, a support, a creative outlet for expression of feelings, or somewhere to find information to educate themselves and others. Welcome, I hope that you decide to return again, or to contribute to the website through your thoughts, feelings, words, or creative expression. If you prefer to simply look and not participate that's O.K. too-either way I'm glad to have a forum in which to share with others an experience that has left me and thousands of others feeling alone for a long time.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I am currently in the process of healing, dealing, and learning. The main reason I decided to create a website, is I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe part of the reason I am healing now, is to be able to share and help others experiencing the healing process as well. Please don't get me wrong, I am not a doctor, nor a counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist. I am a woman learning to use my experience, my pain and turn it into something positive. I will offer no advice only opinion. If you are hurting and need help, your counselor or doctor is whom you should seek.. This website is a virtual meeting place. Somewhere you can visit and read or share your experiences, your art, or your humor. My husband explained to me the importance of balance in our lives. I agree with him, and decided to add balance to this website. I believe it is important that we educate ourselves about what we are experiencing, what we can expect, what are the pro's and con's to healing etc.This education can be painful, when we begin to feel the truth of what has happened. The anger, the grief, the realizations, the memories, and the truth. I also think that we need to be able to laugh and be creative through my healing process. To be able to see all of the wonderful blessings, and gifts that come from healing. This website is to share our blessings whether its your story you are sharing, poetry, photography, or your opinion-its all a blessing. I 'm finding it difficult at times to find my voice, that part of me that can speak honestly about the past, present, and future. Why? Because I get so scared sometimes. I'm finding strength, I'm finding it in my creativity, and through reaching out to others. I think one of the hardest things for me to accept that my healing, my past experience has lead me to where I am right now, and for the first time in my life I have moments of real truth, real acceptance, deep spiritual love, and most important dignity and self respect! We all have it within us, I wanted to create a forum to share our truths, and experiences! I wanted to create a website for those who need to find their voice.

The name of the website comes from a Marc Cohn song "Becoming Gold". The song has become a theme for my husband and I. Becoming Gold for us is growth, learning, acceptance, inner love, empowerment, meeting your dreams, and spirit. Its about coming into yourself, becoming your true self. Becoming Gold.

If you wish to write to me with your comments, ideas, or feedback please contact me via e-mail:

Thank you,